nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
