Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license

Fav 13 5751 839
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue

Fav 27 1516 5271
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(941): View more from Florida

I really should sober up and deal with this hangover

(941): View more from Florida

It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though

Fav 5 2346 1155
share tweet
(731): View more from Tennessee

I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.

Fav 9 2712 1362
share tweet
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.

Fav 10 2374 1156
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.

Fav 2 588 1091
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.

(330): View more from Ohio

Dude what the fuck...

Fav 4 1936 805
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.

Fav 14 1914 634
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star

Fav 0 383 241
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT