it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dicks are not precious.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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