You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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