Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day