so let's talk penis.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
