I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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