think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize