You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
