Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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