woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
