I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize