Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
