I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He kissed a someone with a penis
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
