she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
