he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
