Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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