I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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