i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
