Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
