I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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