Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
did you just send me my own nude
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
