They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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