he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
