OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
