He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize