i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
