I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
