What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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