i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
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