Please, let me fuck your mom
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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