Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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