theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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