note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
