You can't special order awesome
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
