Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
