PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm too high and old for this...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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