I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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