What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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