We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
