Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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