Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
