And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
