wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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