yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
