the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
