It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
