the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
What drink are we having for lunch?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
