I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
