'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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