so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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