Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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