I'm passing your future prison.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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