Whod you bang
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
