How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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