Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We're too hungover to prance.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
