He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
