Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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