shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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