Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
