I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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