you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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