i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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