I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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