You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
