so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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