sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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