So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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