I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
