i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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